Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You Haven't Seen the Last of Me!

I recently heard this song and was moved by its lyrics. They are very powerful and motivate me to push on through this trying time. I can't give up ; I won't give up.  You haven't seen the last of me!



Feeling broken
Barely holding on
But there's just something so strong
Somewhere inside me
And I am down, but I'll get up again
Don't count me out just yet

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me
You haven't seen the last of me

They can say that
I won't stay around
But I'm gonna stand my ground
You're not gonna stop me
You don't know me
You don't know who I am
Don't count me out so fast

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me

There will be no fade out
This is not the end
I'm down now
But I'll be standing tall again
Times are hard but
I was built tough
I'm gonna show you all what I'm made of

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
I am far from over
You haven't seen the last of me


No no
I'm not going nowhere
I'm staying right here
Oh no
You won't see me begging
I'm not taking my bow
Can't stop me
It's not the end
You haven't seen the last of me
Oh no
You haven't seen the last of me
You haven't seen the last of me

Monday, April 25, 2011

3 Months Post Op

We've reached another milestone in The JStew Journey; it has been three months since I had the first surgery that changed my life. When I started this journey 3 months ago I was a 342 pound girl who was running out of options. To date I am 72 pounds lighter at 270 pounds and have lost over 21% body weight and am still loosing.

Since my first surgery I have not only lost a significant amount of weight, but have experienced things that I never thought I would ever experience in my life. I've had surgery, enjoyed multiple hospital stays, seen relationships change, had an unplanned second surgery, found out who my true friends are, been through a battery of medical test, and much more. Talk about a wild roller coaster ride!

Today I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon where we discussed future steps in this journey. I had my second surgery to remove my gallbladder two weeks ago. Since then the pain has gotten significantly better, yet the nausea and vomiting has become gradually worse. So much so, that it has me scared to eat of drink anything for fear of getting sick leading to an extremely weak and fatigued girl. After talking with my surgeon, he decided to switch the anti nausea meds and see if that would help the situation. He also talked about sending me to see a GI motility specialist and we talked about the option of turning the sleeve gastrectomy into a complete gastric bypass. Talk about "Aye Carumba!"

On top of the wonderful health issues, I have the pleasure of returning to work tomorrow. Excited? Not hardly. Unfortunately it is one of those necessary evils in life and the show must go on.  Here's to hoping for an easy, drama free day...

So here I sit; lighter and a little unsure of my life decision. Alas; I must press forward. They say that success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey. Now all I have to do is undertake and continue on!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hospital Visit #4

Well folks, just wanted everyone to know that I made it through surgery and was sent home yesterday. Talk about a rough day though... I arrived at the hospital for registration / interview and assessment and not two seconds in the I&S room I started dry heaving - not fun! However, because I was so sick they put me straight back into the pre op bay and got me hooked up on fluids and anti nausea meds. I did have to wait a little while for my surgery because the surgeon had gotten behind, but I was grateful to be receiving meds and be under warm blankets! My biggest concern about this surgery was the anesthesia itself. I did let the anesthesiologist know how sick I had gotten last time and he assured me he was going to do his best to keep that from happening again. I remember going back into the or and then waking up in step down. Thankfully I wasn't so nauseous this time! After about an hour or so they had me get up and walk around and then sent me on my way home to recuperate. 

Now I am sitting at home bouncing from the recliner to my bed because nothing seems to be comfortable! I am not as nauseous as I was last time, but I do not remember being in this much pain either. I am hoping that after a few days, the pain will start to subside and I will be back on the road to recovery again! Until next time...

Monday, April 11, 2011

Round Two!

For the curious minds, lets start this off with a weight loss update! In my ever so infamous Allison Sweeny Biggest Looser voice: My starting weight was 342 lbs and my current weight is ... ... ... beep beep beep ... ... ... 278 pounds for a total weight loss of 64 pounds and a total percentage of weight loss of 18.71%. Talk about amazing! In 11 weeks I have done incredibly well at my weight loss and am hoping to do even better in the weeks to follow.

Tomorrow marks another big step in my weight loss journey as I embark on my second surgery: a laparoscopic cholecystectomy. In laymen terms I will be having my gall bladder removed as I have multiple gall stones which we believe to be the root of my continued pain and nausea. My surgeon is hoping that this will indeed be a routine out patient procedure that will put me on the road to a more enjoyable recovery and journey after my weight loss surgery.

I will be sure to update everyone as soon as possible and share all of the wonderful stories I am sure to have following my 4th hospital stay on the JStew Journey!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Just keep swimming...

What a journey I've been on recently... I can say that after weighing, I am down to 284 pounds with a total weight loss of 58 pounds. That puts my total percentage of weight loss at 16.96% bringing me that much closer to my current goal of loosing 25% of my total body weight.

I am currently waiting to have my gall bladder removed in hopes that this will alleviate some of the chronic pain and nausea I have been experiencing. Unfortunately, I still have over a week to go and I am finding the wait to be quite difficult. It is becoming all I can do to make it through one day at a time. Work is extremely difficult and when 5pm rolls around I find myself in tears and headed for bed. Thankfully I have less than 10 days before surgery and am hopeful for the positive outcome this surgery is going to bring.

They say that to get through the hardest journey we need only take one step at a time; but we must keep stepping! I am reminded of the scene in Finding Nemo where Dori and Marlin are on a journey to find Nemo and Dori breaks out into song  ♪ Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim. ♪