Well folks. Let me start this off in my Biggest Looser Allison Sweeny voice:
"Your starting weight was 342 pounds and your current weight is (beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...) 305 pounds for a total weight loss of 37 POUNDS. That really is quite amazing. I'm sure your journey has been a tough one, but you are on your way to a happier healthier you."
And now in my Friends Character Janice voice (full of the most annoying nasally screeching possible...):
"OOOHHHHH MMYYYYYY GGGOOOODDD. A A A AA H AA AH A A A."
Let me assure you, unfortunately this ride has not gotten any easier. I still live on meds for pain and nausea and dread long days, especially those at work (no offense). And lets not forget that I am an emotional basket case, but then again I'm pretty sure I was that before surgery so... Just trying to take life minute by minute.
"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time."
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
One Month Post Op
Ladies and Germs - we have reached the one month anniversary of my life changing journey. I cant believe I have made it this far. Can I just say that this month has felt like a lifetime.
Highlights of the month include: SURGERY which is where the journey began. After a couple days in the hospital recovering I was able to venture home to continue my recovery which unfortunately was with insufficient fluid intake. Thus leading to my 2nd hospital stay for dehydration where I was graciously hydrated and at times felt like I was drowning. Next step in the journey was back to the house equipped with a PICC line and instructions to drink drink drink! Several days passed leading to another visit with the surgeon who reassured me that with time things should get better and released me back to work with restrictions. Going back to work has definitely been the biggest challenge, hands down! Top it all off with more fluids and an infected PICC line and you have one heck of a ride.
Here I sit one month later, 35 pounds lighter, and completely drained of all energy and emotion.
¡Ay Caramba!
Highlights of the month include: SURGERY which is where the journey began. After a couple days in the hospital recovering I was able to venture home to continue my recovery which unfortunately was with insufficient fluid intake. Thus leading to my 2nd hospital stay for dehydration where I was graciously hydrated and at times felt like I was drowning. Next step in the journey was back to the house equipped with a PICC line and instructions to drink drink drink! Several days passed leading to another visit with the surgeon who reassured me that with time things should get better and released me back to work with restrictions. Going back to work has definitely been the biggest challenge, hands down! Top it all off with more fluids and an infected PICC line and you have one heck of a ride.
Here I sit one month later, 35 pounds lighter, and completely drained of all energy and emotion.
¡Ay Caramba!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Roller Coaster Rides...
When I was a little girl I was always afraid to ride roller coasters. I'm not sure why I was frightened, but you couldn't offer me enough money to get on one. Unfortunately, the roller coaster of life is not quite as forgiving. You have to either ride or get off...
Talk about some major ups and downs. The past few days I have been battling a fever which as some of you know can drain you dry. On top of the fever, some of the abdominal pain has returned which is making the days seem longer and much more tiring. And lets not forget the chronic nausea coupled with the long days at work. Put all of that together on top of a stressful job and its making for a very very difficult journey at the moment.
Top off the physical roller coaster ride with an emotional roller coaster ride and you've got one complete mess. I'm currently riding the "lets second guess every single thing" ride and for some reason it wont let me off. My head is swarming with questions, concerns and overwhelming thoughts. The difficulty: finding people who can relate. Don't get me wrong, I have great support, its just more difficult when you don't have lots of people to turn to who know what you are going through. Makes the ride that much harder.
Now, the only thing I want to do is crash and burn. Unfortunately I think I am going to get my wish sooner rather than later...
"Life is a series of ups & downs, twists & turns. You can approach the roller coaster of life with arms high in the air; willingly and ready for whatever comes next. Or you can grip the handlebars and fear for your life. The choice is yours."
Talk about some major ups and downs. The past few days I have been battling a fever which as some of you know can drain you dry. On top of the fever, some of the abdominal pain has returned which is making the days seem longer and much more tiring. And lets not forget the chronic nausea coupled with the long days at work. Put all of that together on top of a stressful job and its making for a very very difficult journey at the moment.
Top off the physical roller coaster ride with an emotional roller coaster ride and you've got one complete mess. I'm currently riding the "lets second guess every single thing" ride and for some reason it wont let me off. My head is swarming with questions, concerns and overwhelming thoughts. The difficulty: finding people who can relate. Don't get me wrong, I have great support, its just more difficult when you don't have lots of people to turn to who know what you are going through. Makes the ride that much harder.
Now, the only thing I want to do is crash and burn. Unfortunately I think I am going to get my wish sooner rather than later...
"Life is a series of ups & downs, twists & turns. You can approach the roller coaster of life with arms high in the air; willingly and ready for whatever comes next. Or you can grip the handlebars and fear for your life. The choice is yours."
Saturday, February 19, 2011
WHAT A WEEK...
No worries, I have finally found two seconds of down time to update everyone on my continuing journey. To say a lot has happened in the past week would be an understatement...
Biggest step in my journey this week - going back to work. Was it easy? Absolutely not, no way, not hardly! Long hours, drama, uncomfortable chairs, 20 questions, chronic nausea, sore... I was grateful to be posting this week which did not involve a lot of running around the office or carrying heavy charts as I have not been released for heavy lifting or strenuous activity. Monday, I left and came home in tears because I was so sick feeling a completely drained physically and emotional. Unfortunately I could tell that I was becoming dehydrated again so Tuesday morning I got fluids while I worked. The routine of getting up in the morning became easier as the week passed. While dealing with the constant nausea I also was so lucky enough for the pain in my abdomen to return. On top of feeling like you've been hit by a mack truck, the interaction with others can become tiring. People have lots of questions, work place drama constantly surrounds you, everyone has their own opinions and ways to be critical, and unfortunately aside from one coworker there is no one who can relate to my current journey. Talk about overwhelming! It definitely was one of the hardest weeks I have had thus far and might not have been the best choice to return this soon. Success? Failure? To soon to tell?
On top of feeling so bad, I discovered that my PICC line had become infected. Thankfully two of our office physicians were working at our weekend office. I made a visit to see them this morning as I wasn't sure I should wait until Monday to have it looked at. Verdict: infected PICC line was removed, started on antibiotics and cultures to be dove to see how extensive the infection is. I simply can't win for loosing....
Now I have finally made it back to my lovely home where I intend to stay until next year. I need lots of rest, lots of medication and my mommy to take care of me! Most importantly I need peace; this past month has been super challenging which can lead to second guessing thoughts.
"A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner."
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The journey continues...
Well folks, I'm still moving forward. It may be at a snails pace, but moving forward is better than putting this thing in reverse!
Things have become slightly more routine over the past few days. Sadly, I have become accustomed to the constant nausea. I try to keep my surgeons encouraging words in the front of my mind to help combat the yucky feelings; "Hang in there, it will get better!" I've also tried sleeping in my bed some. While sleeping in my bed all night is not a success, I usually can get maybe 3 hours of sleep in my bed before pain sets in. I am also trying to expand my full liquid diet slowly. In sheer desperation for something different I tried a couple bites of fish yesterday and unfortunately was not ready for that. I'm hanging around Jello, pudding, and grits for the most part right now but did go to the grocery store to get a few different things to try including cream of wheat and oatmeal ; we'll see how that goes. Getting the recommended amounts of liquid in has still been challenging, although the actual act of drinking is not nearly as painful as it was a week ago which is nice. On the slightly fun side, one of my best friends did some spring cleaning and gave me two bags full of nice clothes. While I can not wear any of them now, in a few months I am sure that I will be enjoying them. I have two rubber-maid containers for clothes that people have given me that need to be organized and I also need to go through my own clothes and start weeding out things that I WILL NOT let myself wear again.
The biggest adventure on my plate right now: getting ready to go back to work. While I miss my coworkers, I nervous about being out and working for 8 hours a day. I do fairly well now being out for 2 - 3 hours, but anything longer than that and I start going downhill... With lots of advice from my surgeon about certain things to do and how to handle going back to work, I am hoping that taking one step at a time will make this new path in my journey feasible. I also know that I have support and encouragement from coworkers that will hopefully help to pull me through each day.
Now, I must try to clean my room as I hate starting a work week with a messy room. Other than that, I'm planning lots of rest and fluids for the day to prepare myself for whats to come.
In the words of Chandler Bing "I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name."
Things have become slightly more routine over the past few days. Sadly, I have become accustomed to the constant nausea. I try to keep my surgeons encouraging words in the front of my mind to help combat the yucky feelings; "Hang in there, it will get better!" I've also tried sleeping in my bed some. While sleeping in my bed all night is not a success, I usually can get maybe 3 hours of sleep in my bed before pain sets in. I am also trying to expand my full liquid diet slowly. In sheer desperation for something different I tried a couple bites of fish yesterday and unfortunately was not ready for that. I'm hanging around Jello, pudding, and grits for the most part right now but did go to the grocery store to get a few different things to try including cream of wheat and oatmeal ; we'll see how that goes. Getting the recommended amounts of liquid in has still been challenging, although the actual act of drinking is not nearly as painful as it was a week ago which is nice. On the slightly fun side, one of my best friends did some spring cleaning and gave me two bags full of nice clothes. While I can not wear any of them now, in a few months I am sure that I will be enjoying them. I have two rubber-maid containers for clothes that people have given me that need to be organized and I also need to go through my own clothes and start weeding out things that I WILL NOT let myself wear again.
The biggest adventure on my plate right now: getting ready to go back to work. While I miss my coworkers, I nervous about being out and working for 8 hours a day. I do fairly well now being out for 2 - 3 hours, but anything longer than that and I start going downhill... With lots of advice from my surgeon about certain things to do and how to handle going back to work, I am hoping that taking one step at a time will make this new path in my journey feasible. I also know that I have support and encouragement from coworkers that will hopefully help to pull me through each day.
Now, I must try to clean my room as I hate starting a work week with a messy room. Other than that, I'm planning lots of rest and fluids for the day to prepare myself for whats to come.
In the words of Chandler Bing "I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name."
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I'm hanging in there...
Well folks, it has been 16 days since I went under the knife... What an interesting time it's been to say the least!
I went to see my surgeon today for a follow up appointment. Of course the first thing we did when I got there was step on the scales. And the verdict was: Starting weight of 342 pounds with a current weight of 309.6 pounds for a total weight loss of 32.4 pounds! My surgeon was very pleased, and asked if I was excited about that; I think he was looking for a more excited response, as my simple "I guess so" didn't seem to thrill him. Don't get me wrong, I am pleased about the weight loss; the journey has not been entertaining though. My surgeon reminded me that this surgery effects some people more than others, and I get to be one of the lucky ones that it has attacked. He assured me that everything would be alright and that I just had to hang in there a little while longer and things would turn around. As far as progress goes: I am moving to stage two of the post op diet meaning I am allowed full liquids. While I am still not at the required 64oz of liquids and 40+ grams of protein a day, my surgeon said it would come with time. I do still have my pic line in because they want to be sure that I do not get dehydrated again and need more fluids. If I do, then they wont have the difficulty of dealing with collapsed veins again, plus I can receive treatment at home if need be. I have also been released to go back to work on Monday with light duty. While it is a little soon and I am not sure that I am ready to go back, it must be done.
Many have already asked me if I would do the surgery over again and can I just say that it is to soon for that question to be asked. My response in this very moment "no way would I do this again". Who honestly enjoys chronic nausea, dehydration, fatigue, weakness...?... While it hasn't been a fun ride thus far, I am hopeful that with time the journey will be worth the ride. Until then, I will tell you all what I told my surgeon: "I'm just trying to chill and stay calm". Here's hoping!
I went to see my surgeon today for a follow up appointment. Of course the first thing we did when I got there was step on the scales. And the verdict was: Starting weight of 342 pounds with a current weight of 309.6 pounds for a total weight loss of 32.4 pounds! My surgeon was very pleased, and asked if I was excited about that; I think he was looking for a more excited response, as my simple "I guess so" didn't seem to thrill him. Don't get me wrong, I am pleased about the weight loss; the journey has not been entertaining though. My surgeon reminded me that this surgery effects some people more than others, and I get to be one of the lucky ones that it has attacked. He assured me that everything would be alright and that I just had to hang in there a little while longer and things would turn around. As far as progress goes: I am moving to stage two of the post op diet meaning I am allowed full liquids. While I am still not at the required 64oz of liquids and 40+ grams of protein a day, my surgeon said it would come with time. I do still have my pic line in because they want to be sure that I do not get dehydrated again and need more fluids. If I do, then they wont have the difficulty of dealing with collapsed veins again, plus I can receive treatment at home if need be. I have also been released to go back to work on Monday with light duty. While it is a little soon and I am not sure that I am ready to go back, it must be done.
Many have already asked me if I would do the surgery over again and can I just say that it is to soon for that question to be asked. My response in this very moment "no way would I do this again". Who honestly enjoys chronic nausea, dehydration, fatigue, weakness...?... While it hasn't been a fun ride thus far, I am hopeful that with time the journey will be worth the ride. Until then, I will tell you all what I told my surgeon: "I'm just trying to chill and stay calm". Here's hoping!
Monday, February 7, 2011
You need WATER to live!
Have you ever been on a journey where EVERYTHING went according to plan? Doubt it! Hence the reason I've been missing in action on this here blog lately...
Main focus point for my absence : WATER (or the lack there of). One of the important things that gastric bypass patients are told to do post op is make sure to consume enough protein and liquids. Unfortunately, consuming anything can be a challenge when your body is on this journey. Mainly, your body is still in a certain state of shock post surgery and your stomach goes from the size of a football to the size of a small egg. The last thing on your mind is putting anything in your mouth, even liquids.
I had taken a trip to my office to have some lab work done and wasn't feeling well. I had been feeling nauseous for several days and then started feeling weak and light headed and down right icky. At the advice of concerned co-workers, I called my surgeon and he asked me to come in to his office and see one of his partners to make sure everything was going well. Wouldn't you know he came in the room to see me and could tell I wasn't doing well and decided that another hospital stay was in order. I missed my nurses from 6th north tower so much, that I decided to go back and see them. Thats right; I got myself severely dehydrated leading to my second ever stay in the hospital. The goal was re-hydration which was achieved by lots of fluids! As a precaution my surgeon also decided to do a barium swallow test and place a pic line. No worries, the test (while it was pretty uncomfortable considering how disgusting barium is) came back normal. The pic line was placed so that he could send me home on fluids if needed and to prevent the challenge of finding a vein to stick so many times. As much as I enjoyed seeing some of my nurses again, this time in the hospital was not fun... After two and a half days of being in the hospital getting fluids, the on call surgeon finally decided that I could return home just in time for the super bowl commercials and glee!
So where does that leave us on the J Stew Journey? I have a pic line still in place in case I need to receive fluids while I am back at home. I have an amazing mom who is doing her very best to keep me hydrated by bringing me clear liquids and making sure I get enough protein. On Thursday I will be following up with my surgeon for him to make sure I'm on the right path. I also have the best ever home health nurse that a person could ask for; so sweet and caring and nurturing!
And thus, the journey continues...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
7 days post op
Alright folks. Today was a pretty important day in the J Stew Journey. Today I decided to do something very scary for 95% of Americans! I got on the scales...
First I should begin by saying that the last time I weighed was Monday January 24th, the day before my surgery. I should also inform you that in honor of my new life journey, I purchased a brand new scale yesterday from the good ole' Wally World. Let's continue; I woke up this morning and decided to "go for it". After unpacking my new scale, placing it on a level surface and selecting my user number I did it. I STEPPED ON THE SCALE! While it is not the same scale that I used at my doctors office, I have been assured that its reading should be nearly perfect. Can I just say that I am still a little skeptical. (since I can hear each one of you yelling at the computer saying "enough already, tell us what it said J Stew, I supposed I'll let you have it in my "Biggest Looser" Allison Sweeny voice). Drum roll please ... ... ... Your current weight is 315lbs for a total weight loss of 27lbs in the past week!
AAAHHHHHH!!! (that's me screaming)
I suppose I should mention my slight melt down yesterday for you to truly appreciate the state I am currently in. As I mentioned before, just because the shape and size of your stomach changes, doesn't mean that your mind changes as well... That being said, I was afraid for my life yesterday (or at least the safety of my stomach). Let's talk about cravings overload; you name it, I wanted it. Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, home made ice cream, Olive Garden's chicken alfredo with bread sticks and white sauce, asiago peppercorn steak, honey glazed carrots and pecans, loaded baked potatoes... This time, I didn't care what the cost was or what harm it could cause me, etc. NOTHING mattered. I went so far to ask a friend to be my "good food supplier" and investigate what we had to eat in the house that would satisfy my cravings. However, thanks to a nice conversation with my Jillian Gym Food Police Nazi Cindy I was comforted and reminded of the true journey I was on. I listened, and instead of making a mistake, I behaved and settled down and floated off to dream land.
27 lbs! I had to say it again; it just doesn't make sense.?. That was just the push I needed to get through the rough patch I am in. While I am still missing my comfort foods, I am hopeful that with time I will start to understand and know the best ways to respond to the challenges of my journey. So here goes another lap around the track...
First I should begin by saying that the last time I weighed was Monday January 24th, the day before my surgery. I should also inform you that in honor of my new life journey, I purchased a brand new scale yesterday from the good ole' Wally World. Let's continue; I woke up this morning and decided to "go for it". After unpacking my new scale, placing it on a level surface and selecting my user number I did it. I STEPPED ON THE SCALE! While it is not the same scale that I used at my doctors office, I have been assured that its reading should be nearly perfect. Can I just say that I am still a little skeptical. (since I can hear each one of you yelling at the computer saying "enough already, tell us what it said J Stew, I supposed I'll let you have it in my "Biggest Looser" Allison Sweeny voice). Drum roll please ... ... ... Your current weight is 315lbs for a total weight loss of 27lbs in the past week!
AAAHHHHHH!!! (that's me screaming)
I suppose I should mention my slight melt down yesterday for you to truly appreciate the state I am currently in. As I mentioned before, just because the shape and size of your stomach changes, doesn't mean that your mind changes as well... That being said, I was afraid for my life yesterday (or at least the safety of my stomach). Let's talk about cravings overload; you name it, I wanted it. Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, home made ice cream, Olive Garden's chicken alfredo with bread sticks and white sauce, asiago peppercorn steak, honey glazed carrots and pecans, loaded baked potatoes... This time, I didn't care what the cost was or what harm it could cause me, etc. NOTHING mattered. I went so far to ask a friend to be my "good food supplier" and investigate what we had to eat in the house that would satisfy my cravings. However, thanks to a nice conversation with my Jillian Gym Food Police Nazi Cindy I was comforted and reminded of the true journey I was on. I listened, and instead of making a mistake, I behaved and settled down and floated off to dream land.
27 lbs! I had to say it again; it just doesn't make sense.?. That was just the push I needed to get through the rough patch I am in. While I am still missing my comfort foods, I am hopeful that with time I will start to understand and know the best ways to respond to the challenges of my journey. So here goes another lap around the track...
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